I have never really been one for cliche sayings and mushy gushy romantic stuff, but the quest to find our “person” weighs heavy on most of our minds lately. In a world filled with super cute Instagram pics of couples getting engaged, married, and having beautiful babies, it’s no wonder we’re feeling more alone than ever! And, let’s face it, curling up to that murder-mystery documentary with no one but Ben & Jerry, just isn’t cutting it for us anymore. (We’ll blame it on “cuffing season”)
My boyfriend and I went from first date to planning our wedding in just six weeks and we have spent, maybe, four nights apart since. What can I say, “when you know, you know”. When you meet the guy you are meant to be with, everything you knew about relationships no longer seems accurate and you wonder why you wasted so many years on the wrong people. Everything will just feel… right.
The “honeymoon phase” doesn’t exist
Let me rephrase, the “honeymoon phase” never stops! Relationships usually start out perfect because both involved are on their best behavior. They are going out of their way, above and beyond, to impress each other. After time, the effort slowly stops and the flame dies out. When you’ve found your “person”, the effort never stops and the flame gets hotter.
He accepts you completely as you are
When you’re PMSing and have a full on mental breakdown in the middle of the grocery store because you can only find flimsy, plastic cotton swabs instead of the sturdy paper ones and EVERYBODY KNOWS the paper ones are so much better! Yeah, when he’s fully witnessed that, and not only sticks around, but goes to the end of the earth to find you the right cotton swabs, he’s a keeper.
He loves to take care of you
When it’s 3am on a Sunday morning and you’ve had wayyyy too much to drink the night before, and you’re throwing up all the McDonald’s nuggets you made him buy you on the way home from the bar and he’s sitting there rubbing your back and offering you a glass of water, he’s a good one. Not only that, but when you wake up in the morning with one eyebrow, crusty hair and no will to live, he’ll still call you beautiful and offer to make you breakfast. (swoon!) You see, a good man will not only take care of you physically, he will make damn sure that you are happy too.
He challenges you to be your best self
When you are in the right relationship, you will naturally start to become the best version of you. The right person will awaken the parts of you that have been needing transformation but have never had a reason to, until now. He will see things in you that you’ve never seen in yourself and push you to your full potential. Why? Because he is your biggest fan! Not only does he want to succeed, he wants to see you succeed as well.
He’s responsible with his income
Does he have a steady income, his own vehicle, a place to live? If not, does he at least have the ambition to someday achieve that? If you answered “no” to all of the above, he’s probably not going to offer you much. A mature man will work his ass off for what he has and know what to spend his money on. That doesn’t mean that he won’t splurge on dates and spoil you, it means that he knows when he is financial able to and when he’s not. Everyone struggles financially at times, but if his bills are paid and he’s not blowing money on unnecessary things, it shows he’s responsible.
He knows how you like your coffee
He’s willing to make sacrifices
There are only so many hours in a day, only so much money in his wallet, and only so much energy he has to put forth. If he drives an hour after work every day to see you, he honestly cares. If he uses some of his savings to buy you that necklace he knows you really want, he honestly cares. If he’s totally exhausted after work but still manages to make dinner for your family because you haven’t been feeling well, he honestly cares. He doesn’t have to do these things, but he does them because he wants to see you happy.
You share the same sense of humor
And you’re often thinking on the same wavelength. Even as young children, we tend to imitate that of those we admire. Laughing together is like fanning the flame of a happy relationship. You’ll find yourself finishing each other’s jokes and quoting the same funny lines at the right time. There is nothing better than laughing uncontrollably with someone you love, and from this, stems some of the greatest memories.
You take turns being strong
No relationship is perfect… ever. There will always be bumps in the road in every relationship. Being strong in a relationship means providing support and at the very least, listening to what they have to say. I once came across this quote: “A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.” I believe this is one of the greatest lessons to be learned as you grow as a couple.